TAO and Adversities
Life is never smooth sailing, and life journey is always a bumpy ride. Tao
wisdom may help you in the art of living well. Tao wisdom comes from the
profound wisdom of Lao Tzu, the ancient Chinese sage who authored
the immortal Chinese classic Tao Te Ching, which has been
extensively translated into many languages worldwide. Tao wisdom can show you
how to heal your pain and sorrow.
For example, after the death of a dear friend or someone close to you, you
may experience a period of denial—refusing to accept the harsh
reality of death. This is the human mind's way of protecting us from
painful emotions associated with grief and sorrow. Tao wisdom emphasizes
the dualism of life: that is, good and bad co-exist just as happiness and
sorrow; and they complement each other. Without sorrow, there will be no
happiness, and one gives way to the other somehow and some time.
Sorrow may bring anger: anger with yourself or whoever
responsible for the death of your loved one. The human mind always looks for an
answer or an explanation of why something undesirable happened. If you blame
yourself, then guilt and regret may ensue; if you blame others, anger is
generated. According to Tao wisdom, anger is the source of human sufferings.
Anger originates from desires and expectations that are not met or fulfilled.
The next phase is bargaining with God about reversing what
has happened to you. You use "what if?" and "if only" sort
of pleas to bargain for second chances. Tao wisdom says you should live in the
present, and not the past which was gone, nor the future which is uncertain.
According to Tao wisdom, you simply embrace whatever that comes along in your
life without judgment.
After the initial denial, reality begins to sink in. You start to feel the
bereavement that cause you to sink into deep depression with
negative emotions of grief, regret, and sorrow. This is the darkest or even the
longest stage of grief and sorrow. Spontaneity is of one the essentials
of Tao wisdom; it means everything in life follows a certain natural order,
such as the four seasons, or life becoming death. Understanding the natural
order of things may deliver you from your depression and lift you out of the
darkness of sorrow.
The way to overcome pain and sorrow is acceptance. Sooner or
later, you will come to terms with the death of your loved one when you become
aware that everything is going to be OK, that you will survive the loss of your
loved one, and go on living as if everything is a miracle even though your life
may be different without your loved one.
Tao wisdom is profound human wisdom that requires you to have an empty mind
free from pre-conditioned thinking. Living in the present enables you to become
mindful of your thoughts so as to have clarity of mind, which is human wisdom.
With wisdom, you begin to see things as they really are and not as what you
“think” they may be. More importantly, it allows you to let go of all your
attachments, including your attachment to your ego, to material things, and to
your loved ones. Letting go lets you see the nature of everything, including
pain and sorrow, and even death.
Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau
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