Control and Out of Control

Control and Out of Control

Letting go is difficult because there is one thing that most of us have overlooked: the wisdom of letting go to let God.

Life is all about living—it comes with some hard work, simple integrity, and, above all, the wisdom in living. If life is all about living—not just about making and spending money—then it is not about regrets and dreams.

Regrets look back at the past; dreams look forward to the future. Unfortunately, both are not within our control. If the value of money is solely based on accumulation of wealth, or the acquisition of material things, then living indeed becomes a labyrinth of regrets and dreams—regrets over the wrong investment decisions in the past, and dreams of the great fortune yet to come in the future.

A life journey is forever paved with many challenges and losses, many of which are beyond human control because they are often sudden and unpredictable.

Physical loss, including loss of vision and mobility, both of which may affect the quality of life with respect to independent living, may make living beyond control.

Material loss may include loss of property from natural disaster, such as flooding, tornado, and wildfire, loss of place and space, such as moving from a house to an apartment or to a nursing home. Downsizing also means the loss or forced disposal of treasured possessions that many are reluctant to let go of.

Memory loss may result in a severe loss of organizational ability and the ability to plan and function, resulting in loss of independence, which is a major setback for the elderly.

Loss of loved ones due to accidents or natural causes are devastating. Spousal loss is often the most devastating in that the oneness in marriage is forever broken, resulting in isolation and loneliness.

Losses that come in many different forms often become sources of unhappiness, but losses are no more than life challenges that are beyond human control.

But living, to many, is about controlling self and others; more specifically, purposely controlling the destiny of self, as well as directly or indirectly controlling the destinies of others around. The truth of the matter is that we are only humans, and we cannot control what is controlled by God. Being finite, with only limited intelligence, we are limited in our capability to control what is beyond human control. God, who is infinite, is in absolute control of everything. Our constant desire to control is displeasing to God—an expression of our lack of trust, and our disobedience.

Humans are always given a choice: continuing to control one’s destiny, or letting go to let God control. 

God has given each one of us a unique life and destiny that only we can complete it.

“Your eyes saw my unformed body;

all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

(Psalm 139: 16)

However, the completion of that life and destiny in our life journey is according to His way and time, and not according to ours. In other words, it is all about what He wants for us, and not what we want for ourselves.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Bible Is the Source of Human Wisdom

Why the Bible Is the Source of Human Wisdom

The Bible is the source of human wisdom.

A Book of Divine Wisdom

The Bible is the Word of God. Through the Bible, God speaks to each and every one of us, if we are willing. In other words, the wisdom expressed in the Bible is God’s divine wisdom to man.

The Authenticity of Biblical Truths

According to Guinness Book of Records, the Bible is the all-time best-selling book, as well as the most translated work in world literature. This indicates that many people do believe that the Bible is a book of absolute truths and divine wisdom from God.

The Bible is a book of wisdom based on Biblical truths that require faith to believe in the authenticity of historical manuscripts reporting those events that had already taken place.

“In the fifteenth year of the reign of Tiberius Caesar—when Pontius Pilate was governor of Judea, Herod tetrarch of Galilee, his brother Philip tetrarch of Iturea and Traconitis, and Lysanias tetrarch of Abilene.” (Luke 3: 1)

This Biblical truth is further attested to by human historical time scale: BC (Before Christ) and AD (Anno Domini—“in the year of our Lord”). Jesus Christ is a real historical figure, and His birth is a very solid historical fact reported by many historians.

The Old Testament and the New Testament

The Bible is made up of the Old Testament and the New Testament.

The Old Testament comprises thirty-nine books: the Pentateuch, written by Moses, about how the Israelites came to be the chosen people of God; the historical books, written by numerous authors, about the history of Israel, from its rise in Canaan to its downfall in Babylon; the poetical books about wisdom and worship for the Israelites; and the books of ancient prophets, admonishing and warning the Israelites of destruction through their sinful nature and disobedience to God.

These religious writings of ancient Israel focused on the chronicle history of Israel, the questions of good and evil in the world, the subtle relationships between God and man through worship and regulations, and the Covenant of God with man. In short, the Old Testament is the revelation of God’s wisdom to man.

The New Testament is a collection of writings by eight different writers (the Apostles: Matthew, John, Paul, James, Peter, Jude; the Disciples: Mark, Luke), addressing different early Christian churches. This collection of twenty-seven books, comprising the Gospels, Acts of the Apostles, the Epistles, and the Revelation of John, appeared one after another in the second half of the first century.

The New Testament is explicit about the revelation of God’s wisdom to man through the birth of Jesus, the Son of God, and the Messiah of Israel. God’s wisdom is expressed through Jesus’ teachings, culminating in the Crucifixion, which symbolizes the conquest of human death due to sin, as well as the fulfillment of the Covenant of God with man.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Living in a World of Depression

Living in a World of Depression

“Depression has been called the world's number one public health problem. In fact, depression is so widespread it is considered the common cold of psychiatric disturbances. But there is a grim difference between depression and a cold. Depression can kill you.“ David D. Burns

We all have a depressive mind because we are all living in a world of depression. The only difference is that our depression may all differ in intensity: slight, serious, or severe. The truth of the matter is that each and every one of us is depressed, without any exception, because we all experience our depressive episodes at some points during our lifespan, and it is very normal. However, many of us prefer to deny or ignore our emotional dysfunction due to the stigma that is often associated with depression.

Depression is not a new human disease or disorder; it is as ancient as man:

"so I have been allotted months of futility,
    and nights of misery have been assigned to me.

⁴ When I lie down I think, ‘How long before I get up?’

    The night drags on, and I toss and turn until dawn.

⁵ My body is clothed with worms and scabs,
    my skin is broken and festering.

⁶ “My days are swifter than a weaver’s shuttle,
    and they come to an end without hope.
⁷ Remember, O God, that my life is but a breath;
    my eyes will never see happiness again.
⁸ The eye that now sees me will see me no longer;

    you will look for me, but I will be no more.
⁹ As a cloud vanishes and is gone,
    so one who goes down to the grave does not return.

¹⁰ He will never come to his house again;
    his place will know him no more.

¹¹ “Therefore I will not keep silent;
    I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit,
    I will complain in the bitterness of my soul." (Job 7: 3-11)

“Answer me quickly, Lord; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.”

(Psalm 143: 7-8)

In modern age, Sir Winston Churchill, the Prime Minister of Great Britain, underwent serious bouts of depression during his country's national crisis in World War II. The fact is that depression is no respecter of persons—even for those with very high I.Q., such as the Nobel Prize winning author Ernest Hemingway who committed suicide just as his father did with the comment “I’ll probably go the same way.” Indeed, many of us are vulnerable to this genetic mental disorder.

Sadly, depression is currently increasing at an alarming rate because the world we are now living in is getting more challenging, more complex, and more complicated each day passing—it has now become a world of depression.

Do not avoid depression with medications; instead, go through depression in order to overcome it. Follow the TAO, which is the Way through depression.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Why We Should Forgive

We should always forgive, no matter what and how. Forgiveness is a blessing.

An illustration

On September 24, 2016, runner and cyclist Dean Otto was struck by a car driven by Will Huffman, a 27-year-old salesman, with his buddy on their way to a football game. The crash left Dean Otto paralyzed with his broken vertebrae, a broken pelvis, broken tailbone, a broken right leg, and several broken ribs.

After assessing Otto’s condition, Dr. Matt McGirt told the Otto family that Dean Otto was 99 percent likely going to spend the rest of his days in a wheelchair. It was sad and scary news for the Otto family.

But Otto was never scared—or even resentful. Instead, he said a private prayer and instantly forgave Will Huffman. “I knew if I didn’t, the resentment would eat me alive.”

After the surgery on his spine performed by Dr. Matt McGirt, Otto began his miraculous recovery. As a matter of fact, a few hours after the surgery, Otto was able to wiggle his toes.

Through Facebook, Will Huffman and his wife were finally able to contact Otto’s family, who welcomed them graciously with open arms.

Huffman was not surprised that Otto would forgive him, but he did not expect or imagine that they would become good friends afterwards. Huffman says, “I think most people would stop there and say, ‘Nice meeting you, but I’m done.’”

Dr. Matt McGirt was also inspired by their close friendship, and he earnestly believed that it was Otto’s attitude, forgiveness, and loving-kindness that had brought about his phenomenal recovery. The doctor also remarks: “He not only turned lemons into lemonade, but he’s selling that lemonade, too.” Otto raised $11,000 for Carolinas Rehabilitation’s LIFE Program for spinal cord injury patients.

On July 22, 2017, Otto, Huffman, and Dr. McGirt reunited and participated in a half-marathon race.

Self-intuitive questions 

If I were Dean Otto, would I have forgiven Will Huffman instantly and completely?

Would I have continued the friendship with someone who drastically changed my life?

Has forgiveness really made Dean Otto happier?

There is wisdom in forgiveness. Learn to let go of anything and everything. 

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

A Better and Happier You in 2019

Happy New Year!

A Better and Happier You in 2019

There is an old Latin axiom: “nemo dat quod non habet” — meaning, one cannot give what one does not have.

If you don’t have the wisdom to know your real self, you won’t have the wisdom to understand others, especially who they are and what they need. In order to understand others to have better human relationships, you must first and foremost have the wisdom attained through asking self-intuitive questions throughout your life.

Then, with mindfulness, you observe with a nonjudgmental mind what is happening to you, as well as around you. Gradually, you will be able to see things as what they really are, and not as what they may seem to you: anything and everything in life follows its own natural cycle, just as the day becomes night, and the night transformed into dawn. With that wisdom, you may become enlightened, which means you begin to know your true self—what you have and what you don’t have, and you were created to be who you are, and not what you wish you were or want to become. Knowing what you have, you can then give it to others. It is the giving, rather than the receiving, that will make you become a better and happier you in 2019.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau