“We usually don't realize the thing that is defining our
identity until that thing is taken away.” Tim Hiller
All human attachments are the raw
materials with which one both consciously and subconsciously creates one’s
identity through a period of confusion and uncertainty that inevitably leads to
the identity crisis. Without human attachment, there will be no identity crisis.
Tao wisdom may be the solution to an
identity crisis Tao wisdom focuses on letting go of the ego-self, which is the
source of all human miseries. The ego-self is defined by our attachments that
define who we are, or rather who wish we were—such as the car we drive, the
clothes we wear, the neighbor we live in, and the career we have. We use our attachments
to control how people think of us, or how we think of ourselves to give us the security
we crave.
Tao wisdom is the ancient wisdom from China
Letting go begins with the ego-self, whose main
task in life is controlling.
Indisputably, life is forever changing, whether we
like it or not. We must learn to accept the fact that we are sometimes
powerless to stop any unwelcome change in our lives. Paradoxically, accepting
that unwelcome change in our lives may surprisingly bring us not only clarity
but also peace of mind. Yes, life is full of paradoxes that often confuse the
human mind.
“With the human flaw, good cannot exist without evil.
Man is born with virtues, but grows up with vices.
Likewise, life and death complement each other.
Heaven is eternal life; hell is everlasting death.
Human existence is therefore dualistic:
it can make heaven out of hell, or hell out of heaven.
Faith and lack of faith go along with each other.
The first will be the last, and the last will be the
first.”
(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, chapter 2)
Without clarity of thinking, many of us simply
choose to avoid any perceived change in our lives by controlling people who, we
think, may either cause or steer us clear of any unwelcome change. Control
stems from our fear and worry, which are projections of our minds into the
future about what may or may not happen, and which are the major factors of
stress in our contemporary living.
Controlling is not Tao wisdom because it is an unnatural
way of running away from everyday problems, instead of embracing them.
Controlling is a direct or subtle way of exerting our influence over others so
that we may have power over the turn of events in our own lives. In other
words, we delude ourselves into thinking that we can make things happen
the way we want them to happen in our lives through control and manipulation of
others. Of course, it is only a wishful thinking that we can have total control
of what happens or does not happen in our lives. Controlling only leads to
over-doing.
“The Creator does nothing,
yet nothing is left undone.
The ordinary man is always doing things,
yet there are always many more to be done.”
(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, chapter 38)
Controlling is holding on to all attachments in
life. According to Tao wisdom, any attachment is the source of human pain and
suffering, and we must learn to let go of controlling.
Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen
Lau
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