Suicides Are Misperceptions of the Mind

The suicides of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade lshocked and stunned the world. To many, their suicides were inexplicable: they had fame, money, success, and public recognition. But they are no more than perceptions or misperceptions of the mind.

Your mind perceives all your life experiences through your five senses: seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, and tasting. To most people, seeing is the most important perception; however, what they see may not be the absolute reality, because their visual perceptions may be conditioned by what they see, and distorted by many other factors during the processing of their perceptions. Remember, it is the intuition of your soul that really perceives your reality. The wise have known for a long time that what we know through our eyes are not the same as the intuition of the soul. If that is the case, sadly, most people rely on what they see, thinking that "seeing is believing," and thus lose themselves in external things.

As an illustration, in 1997, Richard Alexander from Indiana was convicted as a serial rapist because one of the victims and her fiancé insisted that he was the perpetrator based on what they saw with their own eyes. However, the convicted man was exonerated and released in 2001 based on new DNA science and other forensic evidence. Experts explained that a traumatic emotional experience, such as a rape, could “distort” the perception of an individual.

The truth is that your brain is composed of grey matters and neurons or nerve cells that transmit information and messages; they are the building blocks of your brain for the processing of all your perceptions. Neurons are responsible for all your behaviors in the form of perceptions, which trigger a mental process that results in an action or an emotion. If the process becomes instinctive or habitual, then the output in the form of an action or emotion is also automatic and predictable. That is how attitudes and habits are formed, including the fight-or-flight response to any dangerous situation. This automatic or spontaneous mental processing is often not “by choice.” The fact of the matter is that this “learned” mental processing is responsible for the way you think and act, for your beliefs and emotions, for you attitudes and prejudices, as well as for your decisions or indecisions—in other words, every aspect of your life experiences.

Descartes, the great French philosopher, made his famous statement: "I think, therefore I am." That means, you think, and your thoughts then become who and what you think you are. But that may not be the real you

In many ways, the human brain is like a computer program. Your whole being is like the computer hardware with the apparatus of a mind, a body, and the five senses. The lenses, through which you see yourself, others, and the world around you as well, are the software that has been continuously programmed by your thoughts, your past and present experiences, as well as your own expectations and those of others projected into the future. In other words, you and nobody else have programmed your own present mindset. All these years, you might have been trapped in a constricted sense of self that has prevented you from knowing and be who you really are. Your “conditioned” mindset might have erroneously made you "think" and "believe" that you are who and what you are; but nothing could be further from the truth.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

The Role of Spiritual Wisdom

The Role of Spiritual Wisdom

“Life lives itself in us, when we focus on the Creator.

From that focal point, around which all of life revolves.

We watch everything come and go,

with no judgment, no preference.

Everything that is, was, or ever will be,

will return to its origin: the Creator.

Understanding the comings and goings of things,

we fret not, and judge not.

Focusing on the Creator,

we are open to all of life.

Opening to all of life,

we embrace all with thankfulness for what we get,

with gratitude for not getting what we deserve.

Discovering the true nature of things,

we live with compassion and loving-kindness.

All endings become beginnings, all returning to the Creator.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, chapter 16)

        

To seek the Creator, take a look at nature. You will see why it lasts: the reason is that everything does not exist for itself, and that is why it can last forever—they are all inter-connected with one another for existence and survival.

So, focus on others, and not just on yourself. By doing so, you may discover the true meaning of love and loving-kindness.

Opening to all, you learn to appreciate others and connect with them.

“In the absence of the Creator, we forget who we really are.

Then we turn to other things to define who we are, what is good and moral.

In the presence of the Creator, we act according to our hearts,

instead of relying on rules and regulations from those above us.

Rules and regulations may bring fairness and justice,

but no more than a pretense of life.

A pretense of life is our inability to love indiscriminately.

Then we insist on those above us to heal our suffering,

which originates from ourselves.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, chapter 18)

Living in the world means following all the rules and regulations that are made exclusively for the world.

If you are in the world but not of the world, these man-made rules and regulations are no more than a pretense of life—abiding by them is not what you would seek in your search for the TAO of living for life.

Stephen Lau        

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Letting Go of Attachments

Attachment is basically your emotional dependence on things and people that define your identity, around which you wrap your so called “happiness” and even your survival. Attachment is holding  on to anything  that you are unwilling to let go of, whether it is something positive or negative.

We are living in a world with many problems that confront us in our everyday life, and many of these are not only unavoidable but also insoluble. To overcome these daily challenges, many of us just turn to attachment as a means of distracting ourselves from facing our problems head on, or adapting and changing ourselves in an ever-changing environment. All of our struggles in life, from anxiety to frustrations, from anger to sadness, from grief to worry—they all stem from the same thing: our attachment to how we want things to be, rather than relaxing into accepting and embracing whatever that might happen after we have put forth our best effort.

Attachment is the source of human miseries. Worse, attachment may come in many different forms that we are unaware of.

Career attachments

Your career may span over decades, involving many ups and downs, such as promotion and unemployment, changes of career and pursuits of higher qualifications, among others. They may have become your problematic attachments.

Money and wealth attachments

Money plays a major role in life. You need money for almost everything in life. In the past, people could enjoy the blessings of life without spending too much real money. Nowadays, to many people, enjoyment of life requires money—and lots of it—and you may be one of them. Attachment to money and the riches of the material world is often a result of an inflated ego-self. You may want to keep up with the Joneses—driving a more expensive car than your neighbors and friends.

Relationship attachments

Living has to do with people, involving agreements and disagreements, often resulting in mixed emotional feelings of joy and sorrow, contentment and regret, among others, and they become attachments to the ego-self as memories that you may refuse to let go of—forgetting and forgiving, for example, are hurdles often difficult to overcome.

Success and failure attachments

Success in life often becomes an attachment in the form of expectation that it will continue, bringing more success. Failure, on the other hand, may generate disappointment and regret—an emotional attachment often difficult to let go of. 

Adversity and prosperity attachments

In the course of human life, loss and bereavement are as inevitable as death. Loss can be physical, material, and even spiritual, such as loss of hope and purpose. You may want to attach to the good old days, and refuse to let go of the current adversity. Adversity and prosperity attachments stem from the ego-self.

Time attachments

Time is a leveler of mankind: we all have only 24 hours a day, no more and no less, although the lifespan of each individual varies. Attachment to time is the reluctance to let go of time passing away, as well as the vain attempt to fully utilize every moment of time, leading to a compulsive mind and over-doing.

Sometimes we are so busy in the outside world that we seldom have an opportunity to look inside of ourselves, to understand who we really are and what really makes us happy—probably not the material things around us. Imagine you are all alone in a room with nothing, except a pen and a piece of paper. Surprisingly, you may become creative and even happy, with nothing there to worry about, and nothing there to distract your mind.

Are you unhappy because of some of your attachments to the above? The only antidote to your unhappiness is letting go of all your attachments to the material world you are living in. Understandably, letting go is never easy. That said, nothing is impossible if there is a will. 

Read my book: The Wisdom of Letting Go. Find out how and why human attachments are obstacles to living a life of balance and happiness. Get the wisdom to let go of your emotional and material attachments in order to live as if everything is a miracle.

Stephen Lau 

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Watch But Judge Not

Watch But Judge Not

“The Creator has no judgment, no preference:

He treats everything and everyone alike.

Every manifestation attests to the mysteries of His creation.

So, we, too, embrace everything and everyone with no judgment, no preference.

His grace, never depleting and forever replenishing, shows us the Way.

Judgment and preference separate us from His grace, causing attachment.

Only with His grace do we find renewal and rebirth along the Way.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, chapter 5)

To pursue the wisdom of the Creator, you must think like Him.

He has no judgment; He is fair to all.

So, why should you judge others? Nobody is perfect, including you.

To think like the Creator, be all inclusive and all embracive.

“The Creator seems elusive amid the changes of life.

At times, He seems to have forsaken His creations.

In reality, He is simply observing the comings and goings of their follies.

Likewise, we watch the comings and goings

of our likes and dislikes, of our desires and fears.

But we do not identify with them.

With no judgment and no preference,

we see the mysteries of creation.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, chapter 7)

         

We are living in a world of war and violence.

How could the Creator permit such evil to persist? Has the Creator forsaken those who are just and righteous?

If you choose to ask the Creator the above questions, maybe you should also ask yourself the same questions.

The bottom line: never ever judge; injustice in the physical world is one of the many mysteries to be resolved by the Creator, and not be you, because you are in the world but not of the world.

Stephen Lau        

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

                            

Be Grateful for Everything

Be Grateful for Everything

Reconnect your soul or spirit to gratitude. If you are grateful to the Creator for what you have, you may look at the behavior of another individual with more tolerance, or even with a totally different perspective.

Blessings in life, such as the gift of life, are generally overlooked or even taken for granted. For example, if someone takes advantage of you, do not become angry immediately; instead, be grateful that you are the victim instead of being the person who victimizes others.

Gratitude enables you to develop the mindset for a positive outlook toward your soul. Smile more often. Keep complaints about people, things, and life in general only to yourself—unless voicing them will help bring about positive changes in others or in society.

Gratitude helps you see the good in others, letting you give them the benefit of the doubt. Try to remember that all people are created in the image of God. Focus on the individual as a person, rather than on the behavior or belief of that individual, which may not be appealing or pleasing to you.

Always be grateful that you have been given the opportunity to become either a teacher or a student in whatever circumstance you may find yourself in, and turn it into a miracle of life.

An illustration

At the end of 2007, John Kralik, an attorney who owned a law firm, experienced debts and disasters in both his life and career.

One day, after a walk in the mountains, Kralik became enlightened: as his 2008 New Year’s resolution, he decided to write a thank-you note a day for the rest of the year to everyone he knew.

Kralik’s  2008 “gratitude project”  had changed  his life completely. Instead of his feeling of discontent regarding his lack, and his envy of those who had what he did not have, he had learned to be grateful for his law firm, his practice, his friends, and his family, despite the many disasters and drawbacks he had previously experienced. Kralik’s gratitude began to change every aspect of his life. His relationships with his family, his friends, and his staff improved significantly; his law firm avoided bankruptcy, and turned around completely.

Gratitude is something that you get more only by giving it away more. Expression of gratitude generates happiness that overcomes the unhappy feelings of lack.

Are you grateful for what you have, and not getting what you rightly deserve?

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Tao Wisdom to Change You Into A Better You

Tao Wisdom to Change You Into A Better You

There is absolutely nothing that you can do about your past or your own personality development over the various stages of your life. Nevertheless, do look back at the past, and conduct your own life review. Understanding what has made you become who and what you are right now can still help you change the direction of the pathway your life is currently following.

To harness the power of change, do ask yourself the following questions:

Are you still searching for direction or purpose In your life?

Are you afraid or anxious to make changes in your life?

Are there major life decisions you made in the past that you now regret?

Are you feeling that the old days were much better than the present ones?

Are you feeling that, as you grow older, you have become more like your true self?

Are you open to considering options in your life to make you become a better, happier, and wiser individual?

Asking the above questions may help you reflect on the need to change in order to change yourself into a better and happier you.

Don’t just change for the sake of change, but change because to remain static is to wither away, while to hold on to the best moments of your life is simply impossible and unrealistic. The change must be adaptive to your already developed personality, as well as to your current conditions and environment.

There is always a possibility for change at any stage of your life. The recognition of human wisdom can help you have more confidence to change what needs to be changed. When you feel discouraged by negative thoughts, such as “I’m too old” or “I’m simply not good enough,” true human wisdom may help you find the ideal balance between change and stability. This is where Tao wisdom may play a pivotal role to initiate the change inside you to become a better and happier you. Yes, you can do it. Anyone can do it with Tao wisdom.

Stephen Lau     

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

The Watcher and the Observer

The Watcher and the Observer

“The Creator seems elusive amid the changes of life.

At times, He seems to have forsaken His creations.

In reality, He is simply observing the comings and goings of their follies.

Likewise, we watch the comings and goings

of our likes and dislikes, of our desires and fears.

But we do not identify with them.

With no judgment and no preference,

we see the mysteries of creation.”

Lao Tzu

We are living in a world of war and violence.

How could the Creator permit such evil to persist? Has the Creator forsaken those who are just and righteous?

If you choose to ask the Creator the above questions, maybe you should also ask yourself the same questions.

The bottom line: never ever judge; injustice in the physical world is one of the mysteries to be resolved by the Creator, and not be you, because you are in the world and not of the world. Like the Creator, just watch and observe, and let things happen the way they are supposed to—that is the wisdom of Lao Tzu, the ancient sage from China, more than 2,600 years ago. We all want things our way, and that is why there is conflict in the first place.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

The Wisdom in Forgiveness

The Wisdom in Forgiveness

Spiritual Wisdom

We must always forgive people their wrongs against us no matter how great the offense because God offers His forgiveness regardless of our own offenses. Therefore, we are expected to do the same, if we wish to receive His wisdom.

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

(Luke 6: 37)

Conventional Wisdom

According to the Journal of Happiness Studies, human happiness may come from the quality of the friendship or relationship experiences that promote the feeling of uniqueness in an individual.

TAO Wisdom

According to Lao Tzu, the ancient Chinese sage, judging nothing, you will be happy; forgiving anything and everything, you will be happier; and loving anything and everything, you will be happiest. Not judging everyone you encounter gives you better understanding of humanity, and thus instrumental in learning new ways to love and to help others. Forgiveness is a powerful spiritual medicine that cures all negative emotions and feelings.

The Creator seems elusive amid the changes of life.

At times, He seems to have forsaken His creations.

In reality, He is simply observing the comings and goings of their follies.

Likewise, we watch the comings and goings

of our likes and dislikes, of our desires and fears.

But we do not identify with them.

With no judgment and no preference,

we see the mysteries of creation.

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 7)

Stop striving to be righteous and wise to attain salvation,

which comes not from our efforts, not from something we must earn.

Stop abiding by rules and regulations to secure fairness and justice.

Compassion and loving-kindness come naturally to us.

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 19)

True love is generosity, which is giving without expecting anything in return—a practical expression of compassion that provides lasting happiness and divine inspiration.

The Way may seem insignificant.

It is because it appears ordinary.

The Way is great beyond comparison.

If there were any comparison,

it would no longer be great.

The Way is great because of its three essentials:

compassion, humility, and faith.

With compassion, there is no fear.

With humility, there is no strife.

With faith, there is no impossibility.

Without compassion, fearlessness then becomes ruthlessness.

Without humility, efforts may become complicated and difficult.

Without faith, possibilities may become controlling and self-centering.

Compassion is the root.

Humility is the stem.

Faith is the flower.  

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 67)

Learn to let go of all grudges, the past, and live in the present as if everything is a miracle.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Why Reading the Bible?

A Book of Divine Wisdom

 The Bible is the Word of God. Through the Bible, God speaks to each and every one of us, if we are willing. In other words, the wisdom expressed in the Bible is God’s divine wisdom to man.

The Authenticity of Biblical Truths

According to Guinness Book of Records, the Bible is the all-time best-selling book, as well as the most translated work in world literature. This indicates that many people do believe that the Bible is a book of absolute truths and divine wisdom from God.

The Bible is a book of wisdom based on Biblical truths that require faith to believe in the authenticity of historical manuscripts reporting those events that had already taken place.

Tao Wisdom

For centuries, Tao has been regarded by many as the Way to attaining human wisdom and enlightenment. As embodiment of human and spiritual wisdom, it shows an individual the proper pathway through self-intuition and self-internalization of truths to come in closer alignment with the natural laws of nature, and hence the natural order of life and living in this mundane world—which is ultimately controlled by the Creator of the universe. In short, through enhanced human wisdom, an individual may develop introspective understanding of spiritual wisdom, and thus leading to an intimate relationship with God.

The word “Tao” or “Dao” (道) literally means a “road with direction” or “pathway” to an unknown destination, which is essentially enlightenment; “Te” means “virtues” (德); and “Ching” means a “classic” or “book” (經). According to Lao Tzu, the author, the Way or the wisdom of Tao cannot be expressed or described in words, because Tao is not a concept. Tao is something that existed before there were words, before there was human speech, before there was even human thought. Tao is something that must be lived and experienced in order to fully appreciate and understand what it is, and it has everything to do with how the human mind thinks and functions.

The bottom line: Attaining spiritual wisdom requires profound human wisdom, which begins with having an empty mind to separate truths, from half-truths or myths.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

The Wisdom to Change Perspectives

Wellness is feeling good about self with respect to the body, the mind, and the soul. Wellness may be synonymous with happiness.  Wellness comes from the mind – the mind’s perceptions of what the body  is experiencing in the physical world. Wisdom, surprisingly, can change the mind’s perceptions to make one feel better and happier.

Are you happy? What makes you happy? A successful career, satisfying relationships, good health, or material possessions? Which one, or all of those? No matter what, wellness is what makes you feel good about yourself, and what makes your life meaningful. If your life is without a purpose, and you are always drifting from here to there, you won't feel good about yourself or life in general.

Feeling good about oneself requires wisdom -- wisdom to know who you are and what you want in life. Without wisdom, you will not experience lasting well-being. Without wisdom, your living is like like chasing the wind, without any direction.

Wisdom is essential in the art of living well. It involves wisdom of the mind, the body, and the soul. They are all inter-related and inter-dependent on one another. For example, if you have satisfying relationships but your health is rapidly deteriorating, you will not feel well; or if you have a successful career but are emotionally distressed, you will not be in good spirit. Therefore, the overall wellness is contingent on the holistic wellness of the body, the mind, and the soul. To cherish and nourish this holistic wellness, your need wisdom, which holds the key to happiness and well-being of any individual.

Which is wisdom? Where does it come from?

Wellness begins with the mind first, and not the body or the soul. After all, you are what you have become by reason of your thinking. You are a summary of your thoughts, which make you who you are or what you have now become. Your past experiences and your perceptions of those experiences have "preconditioned" how you currently think. In other words, your background, and upbringing predetermine how your mind perceives your present life experiences. Given that your past exposure might not be telling you the whole truth, you, therefore, need wisdom to "empty" your mind and re-define your current mindset. That is to say, you must learn how to rethink your mind. Thinking is never easy and that is why so few people do it, according to Albert Einstein.

You are living in a physical world, and your life experiences are perceived by your body through the five senses (seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching). But these sensations may be positively or negatively interpreted by the mind, which stores past experiences of those sensations of body in both the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. The former voluntarily accepts or rejects those sensations, while the latter involuntarily includes whatever the subconscious mind is exposed to. True wisdom is the capability of the mind to know what is real and what is unreal. 

Tao wisdom is the ancient wisdom from China that shows you how to have an empty mind first to rethink your mind in order to separate the truths from the half-truths or myths.

Tao wisdom is the essence in the art of living well, It is the profound wisdom of the ancient Chinese sage, Lao Tzu, the author of the immortal classic Tao Te Ching, one of the most translated works in world literature. The book has been popular for thousands of years due to its wisdom, which is simple but controversial, profound and yet intriguing. To fully understand it, you need to get all the essentials of Tao wisdom. Click here for more details.

With Tao wisdom, you may live a much better life, without depressive episodes now and then.

Stephen Lau     

Copyright©  by Stephen Lau