Monday, April 29, 2024
Saving Your Face
Saving Your Face
Sunday, April 28, 2024
Teaching Children About Sex
TEACHING CHILDREN ABOUT SEX
Sex is “a big deal,” especially in a marriage.
Surprisingly, some couples may have more sexual intimacy after several years of marriage. The explanation is that by then they may have much reduced level of stress: better financial environment; children growing up; less worry about conceiving a child. In short, sex can even get better as years go by in a good and healthy marriage.
However, some couples may also cease their sexual intimacy due to: childbirth; pursuing a career; midlife crisis; an out-of-marriage affair. That, unfortunately, is also the reality.
Living together without love or physical intimacy is “living separate lives”—it may also be due to pornography, which is addictive, pervasive, and destructive to the addicts and their respective relationships.
So, it‘s important for parents to educate their children about sex. But how?
Like building the foundation of a pyramid, teach them about the values of life and living, which are usually dignity, honor, and respect for self and others.
Growing up and getting married isn’t just about self or just two people: it’s about human relations—how you relate to others around you. For example, in a marriage it isn’t just about the relationship between you and your spouse; it also involves your children or stepchildren, the in-laws, and the friends. So, learn to develop good relationships, and teach your children to do likewise as they grow up.
Relationships are related to emotions, both positive and negative ones. Teach your children to control and manage their emotions and temper tantrums, which will play a pivotal in their subsequent life choices and decisions.
All of the above will define and shape your children’s perceptions and understanding of the meaning and the importance of sexual intimacy when they grow up into adolescents and young adults.
The reality
Remember, just do your best, and let God do the rest. You can teach your children about sexual intimacy, but you just can’t control what they feel and experience in their lives. Controlling only generates resistance and distancing. This applies not only to your children, but also to your spouse. You can share with them what you believe in, but you just can’t make them believe what you believe in. That’s the reality.
Stephen Lau
Saturday, April 27, 2024
Adultery in Marriage
INFIDELITY IN MARRIAGE
Tiger Woods, one of the world’s most famous and wealthiest golfers, was caught with his dark secrets of infidelities and lies in 2009. At first, he vehemently denied and even concealed them. But, eventually, he was more forthcoming and apologetic to his fans and his family at several press conferences:
The reality
King David’s adulteries
In spite of his efforts in seeking God’s wisdom, King David also demonstrated his darker side of the sin of lust.
One night, King David saw Bathsheba, the wife of one of King David’s generals, bathing on the rooftop. Succumbing to his own sin of lust, King David sent for Bathsheba, and committed adultery with her. To gratify his lust, King David even purposely sent the general to the war front to have him killed so that he could marry the general’s widow.
King David eventually married Bathsheba. Although penitent for his sins, God punished King David, and their firstborn son died.
King Solomon’s adulteries
King Solomon, the second son of King David, despite his profound human wisdom, violated God’s standards of sexual purity. His decision to disobey God and marry foreign women with their different gods led to his own idolatry. As a punishment for his sins, God divided Israel, and Solomon suffered bitterness and emptiness at the end of his life.
The difference between King David and King Solomon is that King David always lived in the presence of the Lord. So, King David always turned back to God with remorse and repentance, while King Solomon only distanced himself from God with no contrition and remorse.
So, living in the presence of the Lord always reminds you of your own accountability to Him, without which you will do anything and everything, thinking that you can get away with it.
The reality
Always live in the presence of the Shepherd. Always let the Shepherd guide you in the green pastures. Always let the Shepherd overcome your enemies of pride, lust, and deceit. Always let the Shepherd use His rod and staff not only to protect you but also to restrain and discipline you. Always let the Lord be your Shepherd throughout your marriage journey.
Adultery is a conscious and deliberate act to do just the opposite of what a marriage commitment requires. Adultery is prevalent because it has become the new “norm.” According to many, adultery is just a sin, not a crime, and everybody commits sins of some sort anyway. But adultery is a sin directly against God, who creates the marriage, joining the two as one. So, committing adultery is lack of accountability to God, and is unforgivable without judgment and repentance.
Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau
Friday, April 26, 2024
Letting Go
Thursday, April 25, 2024
You Just Don't Die!
All About . . . .
In ancient times, many individuals were in quest of immortality, especially those in power.For example, Qin Shi Huang (259 BC - 210 BC), the First Emperor of China and the builder of the Great Wall, had made many futile attempts to discover and access legendary sources of immortality during his relatively short lifespan.
Another example, the ancient pharaohs of Egypt might not have been on a quest for immortality because they earnestly believed that they were already immortal; nevertheless, they had spent an enormous amount of resources into retarding the decay of their physical bodies, as well as into building spectacular pyramids and grand tombs in which they could preserve their wealth and riches for their immortality.
Realistic Realities
Nowadays, we all know the reality that all humans are mortal and that death is as inevitable as day becoming night.
“Is there anything we can do about our mortality?” This might be a question that many of us would like to ask ourselves.
First of all, man’s perceptions of mortality always change with age and time. If you ask a young adult if he or she would want to live long, probably the answer is “I don’t know” or “I just don’t want to grow too old and decrepit, like my grand-parents.” The young adult’s perspective of mortality also explains why many of the younger generation are living a reckless lifestyle as if there is no tomorrow.
Naturally, their perception of mortality would change over the years as they grow older with a family of children, or if they have a successful career with all the trimmings of a luxurious lifestyle that they would like to continue. A longer lifespan would then become an extension of their own legacy or continuation of their enjoyment of the fruits of their own accomplishments. The inscription on the tombstone of Bruce Lee, the Hollywood actor, reads: “The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.” That says much about the hope of many to extend beyond the grave.
As aging continues, the fear of death or the unknown might also dawn on humans, driving some of the elderly into craving a longer lifespan in order to delay and defer the inevitable.
Indeed, many people may have different perspectives of their own mortality, depending on their upbringing, the life experiences they have gone though, their religious beliefs, as well as the meanings of death and dying to them. As a result of the differences, some may focus too much on death to the extent of creating death anxiety, while others may deliberately deny the existence of death, just like the ostrich burying its head in the sand.
The objective of this book is neither to convince you to crave longevity, nor to show you how to live to one hundred and beyond. It simply presents you with the consciousness of living the rest of your years as if everything is a miracle -- if you just don't die!
Click here to get your copy.
The Book Outline . . . .
INTRODUCTION
ONE: Consciousness Is Everything
TWO: Consciousness of Breath
THREE: Consciousness of Thinking
FOUR: Consciousness of Wellness
FIVE: Consciousness of Living
SIX: Consciousness of Changes and Challenges
SEVEN: Consciousness of Being
The above is what this book is all about. Click here to get your copy from AMAZON.
What is consciousness?
“The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our aware-ness.” Lao Tzu
Consciousness is everything; if you are not conscious, you are not living your life, if not already dead.
What is consciousness? Being conscious is a "special quality of the mind" that permits us to know both that we exist and that the things around us exist too. Surprisingly, some of us may not have this consciousness.
Life is an inner journey that requires consciousness of the body and the mind, together with that of the soul, to continue to make its progress in the right direction in order to reach its final destination. Unfortunately, since the beginning of time, many people have traveled the same journey of life but without reaching their destinations because they simply lack their consciousness of the body, and the mind-not to mention that of the soul-to guide them along that journey.
Consciousness comes from the mind, which is created by the brain. Hippocrates (460 - 370 BC), the father of modern medicine, was one of the first scientists to observe and notice that people with brain damage tended to lose their mental abilities. He realized that the mind is created by the brain, and the mind crumbles piece by piece as the brain dies.
The human brain creates the consciousness of the mind, giving humans pleasures and displeasures, happiness and unhappiness, as well as many other positive and negative emotions and thoughts. They become our experiences which are stored in our minds, and these experiences also become our memories that generate our subsequent thoughts-they are the byproducts with which we weave the realities in our lives. Therefore, consciousness is the capability of the mind to see them as they are. Without consciousness, which is knowing what is happening in the mind, you just obediently follow what your mind tells you. That is to say, you have become a slave to your thinking, instead of being the master of your own thoughts.
Consciousness is probing deep into the conscious mind: asking meaningful and relevant questions, and then seeking self-enlightening answers to all the questions asked. After all, throughout one’s life journey, one has to ask many different questions at different stages, and seeking different answers from the questions asked. In order to reach the destination of one’s life journey. consciousness of the mind is a necessity, and not an option.
You Just Don't Die!
Wednesday, April 24, 2024
Healthy Pregnancy
Pregnancy is a nine-month period during which a baby develops and becomes a human being. The mother-to-be and the father-to-be have many dos and don'ts in order to ensure a safe and healthy pregnancy. This book provides not only a list of all the dos and don'ts, but also all the whys and why nots because as a mother you would like to know why there are certain things you should do and why there are things you should not do to guarantee a safe and healthy pregnancy.
This book is concise with a holistic approach to a safe and healthy pregnancy through the mind, the body, and the spirit.
Click here to get your copy.
THE PRE-PREGNANCY
Pregnancy is more than just nine months; it is a lifelong project that requires adequate preparation to ensure better results.
The Dos
Do physical checkup first for both you and your partner. (why: to resolve all health issues and problems, e.g. chronic diseases, such as asthma, diabetes, epilepsy, etc.).
Do blood tests to check your immunity to German measles (why: it can cause malformations in the baby) and chicken pox (why: immunization before conception if you have not had it before); to check your antibodies from toxoplasmosis (why: an infection that may affect conception and pregnancy).
Do discuss medical conditions with your doctor: previous pregnancy problems, such as miscarriage, stillbirth, premature baby; genetic disorders in family; current prescribed medications.
Do dental checkup (why: gum diseases may lead to premature birth), and dental work (why: avoiding filling or extraction during pregnancy).
Do weight management (why: overweight may lead to diabetes and high blood pressure during pregnancy; underweight may result in a small baby, problems during labor, and after birth).
Do find out your ideal weight: to determine that, you need to know your height, and weight, as well as your waist size (i.e. your waist circumference between your rib cage and above your belly button). A waistline of 35 inches or more for most women may indicate overweight.
Do find out your Body Mass Index (BMI), which is a measure of your body fat based on your weight and height. Your BMI is determined by this formula: BMI = (body weight in pounds) divided by (body height in inches x body height in inches) multiplied by (703). To illustrate, if you are 5’11” tall and you weigh 165 pounds, your BMI will be: (165/71x71) x 703 = 23 The BMI numbers have the following implications:
Any BMI that falls between 19 and 24.9 is considered ideal and healthy.
Any BMI that is below 18.5 is considered underweight.
Any BMI that ranges from 25 to 29.9 is considered overweight; any BMI that is above 30 is considered obese.
You should be within 15 pounds of your ideal weight before pregnancy, and that also applies to your partner (why: an overweight partner may have decreased testosterone leading to depressed libido).
Do birth control until you are ready for pregnancy. Hormonal contraception may take months for fertility to return to normal. Natural family planning is the way to go.
Do boost nutrients for a healthy pregnancy. Important nutrients include the following:
Calcium (why: avoiding back and leg pain, insomnia, and irritability)-eat figs and raw leeks.
Folic acid (why: avoiding structural defects) -- eat chives. Chives are a nutrient-dense food low in calories but high in nutrients. Always use a sharp knife to cut chives (why: avoid bruising the herb), and add chives to any dish near the end of cooking (why: avoid losing its flavor).
Iron (why: healthy growth of baby) -- eat chives.
Magnesium (why: cellular development; over-coming early pregnancy discomfort, such as constipation) -- eat chives.
Manganese (why: baby’s normal skeletal development) -- eat raw leeks.
Vitamin B6 (why: avoiding nausea and morning sickness; metabolizing proteins, carbohydrates, and fats) -- eat raw leeks.
Vitamin C (why: proper absorption of iron) -- eat fresh fruits and vegetables.
Vitamin K (why: healthy bone growth and proper blood-clot formation) -- eat raw leeks.
All the above nutrients and vitamins are especially important not only for pre-pregnancy but also for the first trimester of pregnancy.
Do get sufficient sleep (why: research has shown that the more sleep you get, the less time of labor may ensue; getting less than 5 hours of sleep may even increase the chance of having a C-section for delivery. Do set a schedule for your sleeping hours to help your body get on a set schedule of sleep. Do go to bed earlier.
Do take herbs to increase fertility (why: drink clover flower tea and nettle tea to increase female fertility).
Do avoid unpasteurized milk and blue-veined cheeses.
Do cook all your food thoroughly.
Do help your partner to enhance his fertility. According to a Danish study, overweight men have fewer sperms. According to State University of New York, placing laptop computers on laps may decrease sperms (why: due to accumulation of heat). Certain drugs on men’s hair loss, high blood pressure, and ulcers may also affect the quality of sperms. Do increase his intake of folic acid, vitamin C, and zinc to enhance the quality of sperms.
The Don’ts
Don’t start a teenage pregnancy (why not: pregnancy between age 15 and 19 may result in many emotional traumas, such as difficulty in keeping up with peers, financial problems, and health and life challenges).
Don’t contact mold (why not: harmful to fetus, leading to birth defects, such as paralysis, developmental problems, and even miscarriage).
Don’t eat bacteria-harboring foods (why not: increasing the chance of developing food-borne infections during preconception stage and in a developing embryo).
Don’t stress out, develop anxiety or depression in pre-pregnancy stage.
Don’t eat raw, such as sushi, raw clams, and oysters.
Don’t eat undercooked meat and eggs (why not: avoiding bacteria growth; do refrigerate food below 40°F/4°C).
Don’t take certain herbs (why not: some herbs, such as echinacea, ginkgo biloba, and Saint-John’s wort may prevent conception).
THE DOS AND DON'TS DURING PREGNANCY
Tuesday, April 23, 2024
Letting Go to Let God
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.”