Depression is no more than a personal struggle
against unattainable happiness, which is the essence of life and living.
Therefore, almost everybody is always in quest of happiness. Sadly, to many,
the quest for happiness is forever unreachable—just like a carrot-and-stick in
front of a mule; the more pain inflicted on the mule by the stick: the more
desire the mule demonstrates to reach out for the forever unattainable carrot
in front. In many ways, a depressed individual is just like that mule with
self-inflicted pain, which is the depression—the more unhappy that individual
feels, the more depressed that individual will become, and the longer that
vicious cycle of depression will continue, only plunging that depressed
individual deeper into a fathomless black hole of despair and hopelessness.
Depression is no more than a mental manifestation of the forever unattainable
happiness that an individual strives to seek.
But why is human happiness so elusively and
evasively unreachable and unattainable? The answer is, surprisingly, quite
simple: happiness has to do with one’s perceptions of life experiences, and
thus the thinking mind plays a pivotal role in that respect. That is to say,
human happiness and the human mind are inter-related; without profound human
wisdom, the pursuit of happiness is like wandering in the wilderness without a
compass and a road map. Indeed, true human wisdom holds the key to opening the
door to understanding true human happiness.
Given
the close connection between depression and happiness, understanding true human
happiness may help a depressed individual overcome his or her depression.
One of the causes of depression
or human unhappiness is the human obsession with imperfections: many of us are
aware of our own imperfections, making us striving to be someone we are not,
while often comparing us with others.
There was an ancient Chinese
fable of a stonecutter who worked so hard cutting stones that he often felt
stressed and depressed.
One day, while standing behind
a huge stone where he was cutting his stones, he looked up at the sky, and saw
the beautiful sun. Then, he wished he were the sun that could give warmth and
sunshine to everyone on earth. A fairy came to him and granted him his wish, so
he became the sun.
For a while, he was happy and
contented. Then, one day, a big cloud came over, blocked out everything from
his view, and he could not see what was below. He became distressed and
unhappy, and wished he were the cloud, instead of the sun. Again, the fairy
came to his rescue, and granted him his wish. He became the cloud, and began
drifting and floating happily and peacefully in the sky.
After a
while, a strong wind came and scattered the cloud in different directions. Now,
he wished he were the strong wind that could blow away anything and everything
that stood in his way. Again, the fairy made his wish come true: he became the
strong wind, blowing here and there. For a while, he was happy and contented.
Then, one day, he found out that he could not blow away the big stone behind which he used to cut stones. Worse, he was stuck there, going nowhere. Now, finally, he began to realize that was where he belonged. He made his one last wish to become the stonecutter that he used to be. The fairy granted him his last wish, and now he was contented to be the stonecutter again.
The
moral of the fable: any comparison and contrast between self and others—or even
between the current self and the self in the past—is often a stumbling block to
self-contentment, the lack of which will direct one's thoughts inward and
generate depression. Indeed, if you are discontent with what you have or what
you are, while matching an area of your own deficiency with that of someone
else’s obvious strength, you are in fact preparing the groundwork for your own
depression. It is just that simple!
Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau
